annsday

Day 39 - Arts and crafts

2008-12-03T01:35:00.000-08:00

Went to mong kok with mom yesterday... usually cheers her up and i wanted to see what christmas fare was on offer at the big plants and decor place they have there.

Got fairy lights (because i love fairy lights) and inspired by the bows they had for sale there, i bought ribbons.. to see if i can make the bows myself. plus the ribbons were onsale and alot of them were very pretty.

Well i did made a nice bow! (see above) now i wanna go back.. to get more ribbons in different colour.. make more!

Day 38 - My christmas tree

2008-12-03T01:31:00.000-08:00

This is my christmas tree.. it's all of about 2 feet tall.... looks rather like a weed trying to be a tree to be honest lol. but that's what you get with plastic trees aint it?

I do like the ornaments though lol!

Day 37 - Christmas Decor goes up

2008-12-02T02:13:00.001-08:00

My family doesn't have many traditions. two totally different cultures mashed together meant, both my parents follow different traditions. they both tried to instill me in their respective cultural idiosyncrasies, but often i'm following something with the support of only one parent. add to that my teenage rebellion years and i tried to ignore a whole lot.

Now it's sort of messed up. i realised awhile back how empty life could feel if you dont have culture. to be form nowhere means you are going nowhere.

so now i sort of follow an amalgamation of things from both the western and eastern. english and korean plus whatever else globalization has brought my way.

Christmas i love. always have, always will. there was a few years where i went without many decor, years where i found certain things missing. like christmas trees... but slowly i'm educating mom in the finer points of christmas. where once she used to scorn all things english.. now she's actually more for it sometimes then i am.

Well last year i was broke and unemployed (my how things dont change lol), so i made my own christmas baubles. out of eggs. hung them on the tree. that pic is one of them. i'll upload pics of the rest on facebook.

Day 36 - americanism

2008-12-02T02:05:00.000-08:00

This is a paperbag.. filled with american granola bars. (love to shirley). i have positively fallen in love with american granola bars. they rock. they come in awesome flavours.. like nuts and cranberry, s'mores, chocolate and peanut butter, and my personal favourite... chocolate and raspberry. they are soft, chewy and just so damn addictive.

trouble is.. you can't seem to get them here.. u know it makes me wanna go to the states.. just to be able to buy some for myself!!

Day 35 - Nice Day

2008-12-02T02:01:00.001-08:00

You know what i really like? sitting in a coffee shop. chilling.

i love a good conversation.

i love a good coffee (though i lean towards decaf these days).

i love good company.

i love knowing there is nothing i absolutley MUST DO by some time period. to be able to choose to do something.. or not. no pressure.

Day 34 - Decent into madness

2008-12-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

I have a very weird dog. Sometimes he seems part cat.. sits i the sun, seeks out warm places, rubs against your leg a little... licks his paws obsessively.

Though other times he's clearly dog. hyper, tail wagging like it's been given a shot of speed, he even barks and growls on occasion thought generally he's a silent little thing.

But sometimes he act decidely strangely. he doesn't chase balls you toss for him, he might run after the stuffed toy but he's just as likely to ignore it and come back to you looking expetantly. whatever that means..

But annoyingly (for me.. who had to keep replacing his stuffed toys) he chews the eyes/ears/nose of stuffed toys. weird psycho-like behaviour till i consider that ears, eyes and nows on toys stick out and provide good little chew toys. i dont think he sees it as anything more then exercising his teeth. though it can't taste nice.....

But i suppose watever makes him happy rite?

Day 32 - books books books

2008-11-27T02:00:00.001-08:00

Ahh new books.. though these days i'm not that keen on reading new books.. i mostly acquire them for dad. but i still love the sight of new books. like looking at pretty candy.. you know it's lovely, you kinda am curious to taste it but CBF at the moment lol. maybe later.

Day 31 - Stay At Home

2008-11-27T01:57:00.000-08:00

i did nothing today! cept play virtual villagers 3.... dont ask lol

Day 31 - Evil corporations

2008-11-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

Hong Kong doesn't have small time little coffee shops.. the type run by families and the likes.. you know. small little homey shops with eccentric decor that makes AWESOME coffee.

starbucks.. i'm sure there are excellent baristas in some of them, but when you are churning out a product (like half trained baristas) sometimes a little of the feeling is lost. sometimes they can't make a decent cup of cappacino if you put a gun to their head.

But starbucks is common, and easy, and comfortable.. generally and a great place to just chill and talk. plus i love their christmass efforts. the gingerbread latte really seemed to kick start the christmas spirit.. soo i indulged in the evils of starbucks muahahaha!

Day 30 - BLEUGH

2008-11-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

Ahh endless hours in bed.. gets tiring.. but not sick of it yet...

Day 29 - serene chaos

2008-11-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

There are just some things that watching inspires instant serenity. Well maybe not for everyone, but certainly for me. Like watching Snow drift down from the heavens. Waves lapping at the shore. Fire crackling in fireplace. clouds slowly moving by in the sky. Koi (or any pretty fish) swim around and around.

You can stare for ages, until you realise you've been staring at what is essentially the same thing for ages then you feel silly and look away.. but then eventually you get back to that trancelike state where you're just watching. Feeling calm because your head is mercifully empty for a change. your mind is completely elsewhere.

why is that?

i thought about it and though, maybe it has something to do with looking for patterns. Ever do that? predict where the next snowflake will fall, how far the next wave will reach. Try to see shapes in the clouds or the flames. try to image what those fishes are thinking. why did they swim in that pattern?

The key of course is that there is no pattern. You can't predict where the next snowflake will fall, only make guesses. the clouds aren't really shaped in funny animals, you're brain is just interpreting it that way, and maybe the fish aren't thinking anything at all, they are just answering the need to swim.

I think we all look for patterns in chaos. Chaos theory does just that. Order within the chaos. why? to make sense of things. if we see patterns, we feel safer. secure. we look for patterns everywhere. in our dealings with people, the world. we dont want to accept that random chance rules our lives. We imagine that there is purpose, and that we can control things. i dont mean like our destinies. of course it's up to us what we end up becoming. you want to be a doctor? go to med school.

I meant the landscape on our journeys. We dont like not knowing whats around the corner. We pray or we try to be good, hoping God or Karma or supersition.. (knock on wood) will prevent bad things from happening to us.

Then something happens. Harddrive died (when you've taken care of it), bird pooped on you (not the handful of other people standing right next to you), bit into an apple with a worm in it whatever. something you couldn't predict. you couldn't prevent. then you look for patterns. gee shit's been happeneing lot lately, maybe someone's cursed me. maybe God is punishing me. maybe this means good stuff is gonna happen next.. (fingers crossed.. bluh bluh bluh).

Is there order in the chaos? who knows.. fun to watch though..

Day 28 - Yum Cha

2008-11-22T03:28:00.000-08:00

I love yum cha.. i miss it when i can't have it. I love siu mai, hargow, spring rolls and certain buns.. couldn't eat all that much today though.. my reflection was chiding me for my tree trunk thighs...

Sorry for my lacklustre entries.. i'm in abit of a rut mind wise. Return to the void. i'm not really feeling bad. just tired. all the time.

I can't let go of the idea that i'm stuck among people who really just dont get me. In what universe would i be happy, living among people 30-40-50 years my senior. In what universe would I want to work as a dentist or a television shoppers assistant. What about me just screams, i'm HAPPY keep me here.

I guess i dont take it all that well, when someone CONGRATULATES me for making a choice i feel i have no choice but to make. When they talk about "us" moving and living together in korea.. or wherever and tell it to me as if they are announcing that christmas is coming early.

Where do you mistake forbearance as happiness. seriously.

If i was a little more egotistical, i'd just get the hell out of here. But alas.. i give a fuck.

Day 27 - Terrapins

2008-11-22T03:25:00.000-08:00

Gah they stink...

Day 26 - Uninspired

2008-11-22T03:20:00.000-08:00

This is what i feel like.. bluh.. Vanya understands...

Day 25 - It's a Dogs Life

2008-11-19T05:15:00.000-08:00

i Envy vanya.. sleep, eat, get belly rubs. the incomparable joy of seeing u'r loved one come through the door, even if they only left for 5 mins... *sigh*

Day 24 - When Demons call

2008-11-18T04:43:00.001-08:00

i was going to write about it. my latest foray into the deep abyss. the feeling of drowning. wishing somehow that i was drowning. literally. so that i could know that it would soon be over. knowing that it wouldn't really last too long. i'd come back to the surface. but also knowing that even if tomorow i feel better. it would come back. over and over.

as is, CBF writing about this shit. no point in describing the water when you're drowning.

the picture is my 23rd b-day gift. a homemade makeshift voodoo doll lol. not a real one. but it's so cute anyways i could never stick any pins it it. it does have one pin. came with it. holds a tiny sheet of paper with the word arsehole. lol representing every arsehole i might ever wanna stick pins through.

doesn't help. but it brings a smile to your face.

Day 23 - Brisingr

2008-11-17T18:11:00.001-08:00

it's not soo bad.. least it's keeping me interested. that's wat i want in a book. something that makes me wanna read it.. keep reading. to find out what happens. it's an unfortunate thing that often the writing is terrible, or the plotline thin, or the characters two dimensional. u know wat? i'd still rather read this garble then try to get trough something like salman rushdie's the satanic verses. sorry rushdie, i couldn't get past them falling. i fell asleep. and i couldn't be fucked to keep trying. i'm mooching the book. i dont care if my reading list consists of crappy books. i'll read the brothers karamazov one day but for now? i just want a good yarn to distract me from the utterly tasteless joke that is life!!

Day 22 - Day after

2008-11-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

I am not a hike person. Well i've realised i both hate hikes and dont mind them. strange duality. yet i am nothing if not inconsistent right? i can both hate something and love something.

It traps you in a strange middle ground. A land of nowhere. You are nowhere, and you are going nowhere. You can't make a decision when you both love and hate something. Dont love enough to embrace, dont hate enough to leave. It's a strange sort of hell. It encapsulates my constant inability to make decicions. Well not everything is about love and hate. But works well enough as a metaphore.

Day after the Hike. i recovered quickly enough. After waking up with a pounding headache, stiff and sore bluh bluh bluh. But none of that pulsating ache you can get when muscles have been torn and are restitching themselves. apperently my slow walking.. (i delberatley wasn't going to push myself beyond what i know i can handle) saved me from the agonising pain you sometimes get when you've destroyed your muscles.

Did i enjoy the hike? honestly. i'm ambivalent about it. i'm trying to figure out why. i mean yes i didn't really enjoy the uphill slogs, but most of it WAS fairly even and fine. They air wasn't say as fresh and as clean as air should be but it wasn't the muggy smog that is Hong Kong. the scenery wasn't ugly. but i think that.. it's a Seen it. Been there. Done that... thing. nice sunset.. but i didn't get one single shot that made me smile. ok no i did get one shot that made me smile. the tree.. the heart shaped branches. but 6 hours and several miles is a long way to go for one shot. coulda taken a bus lol. that's my problem i dont mind climbing up to somewhere .. if u have to climb up to somewhere. but where there is a perfectly sound way of getting to places.. without having to sacrifice your heal (and get a blister as i did)....

enough of that. i spent the day lounging in bed. i made pizza for dinner and watched fuzzy sleeping. if i am to be reborn. being born as a household pet doens't sound too bad. i'd prefer cat though. they get away with sleeping and there's not of the eternal devotion that might tie me to shitty owners. but my dog is almost catlike.. he likes to sleep in the sun.

Day 21 - Hearts everywhere

2008-11-16T01:59:00.000-08:00

6 hour hike. i hate hikes. how did i get conned into one again?! ask me not lol.

Not really up for blogging. feel like i'm being dragged down. confused, frustrated. such is life i suppose. Enjoy the tree!

Day 20 - Of Pirates and Lights

2008-11-14T05:24:00.000-08:00

I GOT PIRATOLOGY! i think the books are way cool lol.. and i got one! muahahah!

Thanks to Boojoo for that (hugs kisses and squeels of delight)!

afterwards went to watch the symphony of lights... which was.. alright lol i liked how i just played with my camera.. trying to make light culptures... i was aiming for stars and hearts.. the hearts came out looking cooler.. not many good shots.. tis not easy after all but here's one i liked lol.

enjoy.

and more hugs and kisses to boo!

Day 19 - Return

2008-11-13T22:07:00.000-08:00

This was outside a toilet in the airport... i thought it was a good representation of me and mom. always together lol

Day 18 - Lessons for little Girls...

2008-11-13T01:58:00.000-08:00

i'm sure you can read that.. it's on a T-shirt.. from a popular girls' clothes store in korea... i love how they are corrupting young female minds.. telling them to "Be Always Lovely Looks" for their fellas lol.

Day 17 - War... Peace...

2008-11-13T01:38:00.000-08:00

Can't read it? yea well i was abit rushed when taking it and i couldn't be effed to really work it in photoshop lol

it says "Our Nation Honours the Sons and Daughters Who Answered the Call To Defend a Country They Never Knew and People They Never Met."

Underneath was wall after wall of names. the Names of soldiers who died in the korean war. It wasn't even the biggest war ever or anything. But the sheer number of names was staggering. i felt horrible. Is there justification for war? for all these deaths? i felt sad...

Day 16 - Fiddler on the roof a la Korea

2008-11-13T01:25:00.000-08:00

Anyone watched Fiddler on the roof? (if you haven't... go rent it.. it's one of those things you should watch once.. it's a classic!). i saw this poster... and i'm dying to watch it.. ONLY to see if they got korean actors to play russian jews... complete with the songs.. or if they spun the story to be korean centric... which begs the question.. korean jews? eventually exiled through some pogrom? are there even korean jews?

Day 15 - What am i Chopped Liver?

2008-11-13T01:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry, but for the past few days i just couldn't blog. My cousin's comp just wasn't up for it...

I remember thinking up entire blogs.. u know what to write as well as a photo for the day... like the day i should have written this.. it was all about being a sidedish. one that was mostly ignored for hours on end. lol. it wasn't fun. but it's been days and to be frank i'm not in the mood for writing up all of it, so here are the missing posts in bulk.

Explanation of photo.. My aunt (like alot of koreans.. ) has this HUGE closet.. made of something black.. with every inch of it covered in designs made of mother of pearl. there are these motifs of birds, wildlife (native to korea of course) and little images of fisherman and the likes. it's an awesome closet.. it sparkles.