Day 6 - Coldness

There's a reason the picture today is sooo boring lol... the day was quite uneventful... cept i got my hair permed and it ended up looking abit disasterish lol. c'est la vie.

besides that all i can say about the day is cold cold cold... and literally hours spent sitting sittl, quietly.. staring at nothing in particular.

i am not a patient person. when i come to korea and visit family.. it really is an exercise of my endurance. Not that i'm a wild wilful child.. oh wait i am. no i dont want to be rude, ill-tempered, etc etc. But seriously, sometimes i think they are deliberatly trying to see how long i can go with no stimulation whatsoever.

in other news.. the vampire name generator gave me THIS:
The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity: Marchioness of The GhastlyKnown in some parts of the world as: Scourge of The Howling WolvesThe Great Archives Record: Hot of blood and running wild with the hungry wolves.

henceforth i wish to be called "Marchioness of Ghastly" and be known to run with wolves!!

Day 5 - Flying through the air...

Castles at 35,000 ft.

I dont know why i like travel. I seem to be very sensitive to change. Change my routine and i dont do so well. i can't go hungry, i can't go without sleep, and altering my routine tends to throw me off. Change in weather, climate, temperature even and my body notices.

I dont like being that way. I used to relish the times when i could do something foolish and stupid without planning on it. On the spur of the moment, go on a mission. dont eat for a day or two, dont sleep for a day or two. go around the world? No problem!!

Well not anymore. The season changes, i'm forced to stay awake a few hours, i skip a meal and i pay for it later. Usually with my mood swings but also my immune system just about DIES. So why do i like to travel?

At some point, a long time ago i fell in love with the airport. Not the Aiport in the literal sense, though i do love airports in their own right, but symbolically aiports were synonymous with change.

Hop on a plane, ignore the crampingly tiny seats the less the appetite inducing food, the constant heavy roar of the engines, the stuffy compressed air inside, the annoying dude that's kickimg your seat from that back, the annoying toddler that's crying incessantly somewhere up front.

Get a window seat, and watch this huge metal structure somehow soar above the clouds. One of the few things garanteed to calm me down and make me feel content. Our Earth is beautiful.

I get sick of the same thing, same place, same foods. I relish moving on to different things even if it does invite less savoury things like a body that hates you. I love flying...

Day 4 - l'amore

This is the pudgy face i see everyday. It could be described as the love of my life, because it is garanteed to melt my heart everytime.

He's not the prettiest, not lithe and agile or furry and soft. He's not the brightest or the most talented. But he's MINE!!!

And he loves me wholeheartedly. Loving something that loves you so completedly is easy. Besides, he's also the sweetest thing you're ever gonna meet. Heart of pure gold...

I was thinking about how i was going to leave him for two weeks... and the possibility of leaving him for much longer later on. It stabs at my heart. I've done it before of course, left to go to uni for almost a year at a go. I'd come back and he'd love me just as much. Well maybe he forgot, maybe he hadn't, but he's such a sweet little thing.

Often i think it's easier not to love or be loved. These are strings that hold you in place. A good thing when you are in a happy place, and you want to be grounded and secured. But when you feel that need to run away... being tied down by chains of love. Well it's tough.

Ahh Love. i'm the ultimate cynic when it comes to love. I dont really believe in it anymore. But i love to read about it. The perfect version of course lol, if i'm to enjoy the vicarious thrill of a fictional love affair, it better be freakin worth it. In enters the perfection of Edward Cullen and the likes. The sublime flawlessness of Jondalar and every male lead in any romance novel since the dawn of time.

HE that is strong yet sensitive, sensible and moral while indulging in the foolishness that is attraction to someone so obviously flawed as the heroines in these books. HE who is moral and chaste and refuses to take advantage of SHE who is gagging for it, until the final moment when passion overwhelms only to show that despite his reservations before, HE who is indeed a skilled lover to take any woman to the extremes of ecstasy.

What i mean is, the mythical man to rival the mythical woman. SHE of the (again) flawless beauty, thin yet busty with hips to rival any Goddesss. SHE of the young and naive who wisely refuses all temptations. Who knows all there is to know of needlework and cooking as well as being able to balance a checkbook and parallel park. SHE of the innocent virgin that bursts out of her corset (only for the one perfect love of course) to become a temptress in the bedroom and dissuade HE of any passion for any other woman. Ever.

There is no such SHE, and no such HE. AHH fiction! It does stir the fires of our imagination and lust and plant the seeds of dissatisfaction. Unless you realise it's a load of dribble of course and take it at that.

There is no perfection. But is there a perfect for me? Right now, my puppy gives me all the love i need lol.

Day 3 - My New Toy

Congratulate me! For i have acquired a brand new toy!

As we continue on the inexorable path to adulthood and old age, i am constantly reminded of shittyness of being an adult. *Dramatic Sigh* and to think there was a time not so long ago when i yearned to be grown up.

Nowadays, i get painful daily reminders that i am no longer a child, no longer young and carefree. Oh that life were fair and we could smile more often.

UNLESS! Well, i am not much for peter pan syndrome, (one thinks of the tragicomedy that was neverland and Micheal Jackson), nor do i think very highly of those with arrested development. there is something to be said to attaining some semblance of wisdom and forsight. But while we may continue to grow, learn and understand it doesn't mean we should give up the BEST things about being kids.

Like that sense of the miraculous, wonderment and simple pure joy from seeing a flashy new toy in front of our faces. Remember those days when you were given a new trinket and you would fly into paroxysms of ecstasy? Hell, people will break the law and take dodgy drugs for that same kind of glee as adults.

We may no longer be driven to heights of extreme happiness from a barbie doll or a new monster truck, (though i always love teddy bears and i think kids toys these days are soo much cooler then back in my day so i probably would get giddy from something i know i have no use for), we still love toys. Just different ones.

Spent the day walking, checking, considering basically the same thing as sunday, though today i had a little more sense of urgency. If i want a laptop for Korea, i will need to get it soon. i narrowed down the list, (with a little help from my companion) and you know tried NOT to be a techy blond.

Then quite literally, after i had decided that there was one gadget on top of my list, i saw it. The Lenovo y310. 13.3"... fairly lightweight, and 4GB of ram.. (they upgraded it for free) it was abit above my budget, but i fell in love. that was that. i was sold. the orangey buttons on black gives it a nice pumpkin theme, but the top is a nice silver, 4 in one memory card slot (which works well for my dofty's SD card) and something that made me go "ohhh!" face recognition log in... not that i have anything to hide on my laptop but it sounds fancy.

You could not believe the stupid grin on my face when i bought it and brought it home. Course i had a jittery case of protective paranoia as i was coming home. This WOULD be the time that my clumsiness returns, that i get hit by a car, that i get mugged and you know, general bad luck.

I also was worried that my glee would be solidly dashed once i returned home. Wont go into why but it's common to come home happy only to be plunged down into the darkest of moods. But GOOD DAY! my new laptop, (yet to be named) is now sitting on my bed table.. recharging it's battery, and i fixed my PC's keyboard, (the " was swtiched with @ among some other keys).

That sense of the miraculous? pure joy and unadulterated glee? just being like a kid? sure its possible, lol forget about yesterday and tomorow. forget about the things that need to be done and the things you did badly. Just be silly. oh and it helps to get a new toy lol.

New Quest.. Name that laptop!

Day 2 - Ah how things change...

Theme of the day is... i have a cold. Try as i might, i can't ignore it. my nose is blocked half the time, and runs the other. If i blow my nose, my ears get squelchy. My throat is swollen and i have a constant urge to swallow. my sense of equilibrium is shot to pieces and i have a rather funky taste in my mouth.

Wisdom tooth is acting up again.. NO i am NOT going to the dentist! (Has visions of drills, blood gore and lots of agony.)

Despite all that, it was a good day. Trekked up to Fanling, somewhere i've never been to in hong kong, to meet helen the day before she was to fly off to the phillipines. Ahh how depressing... the downside to having friends aroung the world, is that the world is a huge place and sometimes friends are far away.

Ok so you go get used to it, and at the same time you dont.

*sigh* i was feeling pretty upbeat today. sun shining, birds ... fighting (fighting sparrows was adorable. they are so tiny their ferocity is just too cute). seeing Helen is always nice of course, and seeing her little bro and sis finally! i'm not much of a kids person, but i remember when her brother was a wee little tot still in diapers.. and i remember when her sis was born, (year of the rabbit!). both are adorable and reminds me of the loneliness that is inherent to being an only child. They've grown up! We realised that helen and i first met when we were roughly the age of her little sister! how tiny we were... how long ago it was, when life was good and happiness easy lol.

Alas, i come home and i'm reminded of reality. life. stress. things seem so uncertain and i can't figure out why when i was feeling fairly sure of things this morning, suddenly i'm all agitated.

Sorry this will be an even more POINTLESS blog then yesterday. i'm going to bed.

Day 1 - Laptop Nightmares

So my laptop died almost a year ago. (So long lumpy HP pavilion ZD8000... i will miss you). It's original problem was it's battery, it died, but soon other things started to die off and i'm too much of a computer blond who happens to be indefinatley broke to do much about it.

Actually I got myself a PC.. having decided to stay in the country for awhile at least. That would allow me to play WOW, (i'm a geek sometimes...). Alas, it seemeth to me that my time in Hong Kong is limited. I am slowly going mad in the same city as i grew up in. I yearn for something different.

If i am to travel, a PC is not the solution. Ergo my quest to find a nice new laptop. A cheap one... because lets face it, i can't dip into my savings too much. it's not very substantial.

So today i huffed and puffed through the bustling, sweltering streets of Hong Kong, braving the smelly crowds to oggle at computers, checking prices and specs and dodging overenthusiastic retailers. Always a task to be sure.

I picked up brochures, noted down prices and tried to figure out what was better or worse. a truly monumental task for one such as i, (my grasp of technological mumbo jumbo is non-existent at best).

In the end, what caught my eye was something that looked sexy. (Of course it's my vanity that drew me to the pretty little gadget rather then a practical one). It is featured in that truly pathetic photo above... forgive me but all i had was my mobile phone with it's tiny 2mp camera.

It doesn't look like much in that crappy picture, but if you really want to know, it was the Asus s101. Something brand spanking new with swarovsky crystals, a lovely deep brown (it looked maroon in the orange lighting at the store) top, and a tiny 10.2" screen. It's tiny, adorable and really just sexy.

I might be a blond, but i'm not really that much of an idiot(stop laughing). Contrary to popular belief, i'm not really very impulsive. If anything i tend to overthink things. making a decision is incredibly hard for me... really! i did think about those stupid decisions.. yes in retrospect they dont seem like bright ideas but i really thought differently at the time...

Back to laptops, i come home and i look through my meagre notes (why oh why... did i not take more notes?), i google and read reviews and try to cross reference things... end result? i'm just as lost as i started, -_-". the Asus s101 doesn't look quit so good now...

Well i shall resume my harrowing quest on tuesday... we'll see what i find them. I am desperatley hoping for some sort of an epiphany, or at least to find a laptop within my paltry budget that will make me not feel bad about parting with my hard earned money. Wish me luck.